New York, NY – Donald Trump called in to Fox and Friends this morning to discuss the Coronavirus pandemic and his administration’s response. After discussing golf, the weather, and Obamagate, the conversation turned to the death toll from COVID-19.
Asked about the possibility of losing support, Trump declared his poll numbers were better than ever. Probed for more details, Trump responded tensely and dropped his greatest bombshell yet.
“My numbers are through the roof. They’re tremendous. We’re handling this Chinese virus better than any president, ever. I’m not losing any supporters over this, believe me. In fact, I could shoot baby Jesus Christ right now in the middle of 5th Avenue, and not drop one percentage point in the polls. I might just go piss on the altar at St. Patrick’s Cathedral after this segment, and my people would bottle it up and sell it as holy water.”
Trump holy urine is expected to go on sale tomorrow, promoted by Sean Hannity on a special segment of his show as a better cure for Coronavirus than Lysol.