New York, New York – Never fear, Roseanne fans! While the liberal fake news channel ABC may have canceled the reboot of “Roseanne,” as always, Fox News has your back!
Sources tell us that the TV star has already begun negotiations for a new cooking show, along with another conservative darling who has fallen out of cable grace, Paula Deen.
2016 Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein is also expected to make some guest appearances to tout the benefits of buying non-GMO cooking ingredients from Russia.
Despite the initial protests of Paula Deen, who felt that the show was a sick reference to the gassing of millions of people during the Holocaust, network execs have approved the name “Cooking With Gas” as the title of their new cooking program, which has already begun scoping out locations in places like Auschwitz and Dachau.
“Ya’ll, I have said and done some seriously racist shit in my lifetime, but this might be too much, even for me. Heck, I even had my wedding with a plantation theme, complete with black servants” stated Paula Deen, as she added another stick of butter to her Savannah-famous crab cake recipe.
“However, the only thing thicker than the plaque in my arteries is the racism at Fox, so I think I can bite the bullet in order to push my over-priced kitchen wares to the same people who still think today’s Democrats are the real bigots.”
The new season is expected to broadcast in late November, just in time for the lighting of the Christmas Cross in Bogalusa, Louisiana.