Politics

White House Doctors: “Hydroxychloroquine He’s Taking Actually Just Flintstones Vitamins”



WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump caused daily facepalms again today after revealing that he’s been taking the malaria drug hydroxychloroquine “for about a week and a half now”.

The drug, which unsurprisingly he can barely pronounce, has been slated by the medical field as highly ineffective against COVID-19 – somewhat poetic, considering that the same could also be said of the current administration.

But in an exclusive backdoor interview with American Buffoon moments ago, White House doctors confirmed that the hydroxychloroquine that the president has been taking is actually just Flintstones vitamins.

“The president really wanted to try out hydroxychloroquine”, explained an unnamed White House medical official, “He wasn’t going to take no for an answer. So we thought hell, let’s kill two birds with one stone here. Let’s give him the vitamins that he’s been lacking all while convincing him that he’s taking a wonder-drug capable of curing COVID.

So far it’s working. He didn’t even flinch when we told him that this was a “super special presidents-only version of hydroxychloroquine that was both chewable and shaped like Barney Rubble”. We’re going to try and get him to at least finish the three-month course.

After this he should be a lot healthier, have stronger bones, and maybe even help him increase his vocabulary. That last one is a bit of a stretch though, but you never know.

We’re happy with the outcome of this, but please don’t let him know. We want to keep this under wraps for as long as possible.”

It is also believed that non-medical White House officials are in on the secret too. However Jared Kushner has not been informed due to the fact that he does actually takes Flintstones vitamins regularly, and would likely be able to tell the difference.




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Burt Roscoe

Burt Roscoe here! True patriot, REAL AMERICAN, and defender of every constitution you can think of! Clearly you're also a REAL AMERICAN by reading my column - I appreciate that! Proud conservative ready to defend liberty, justice and freedom from those insufferable LIBTARDS! MAGA MAGA MAGA!!!

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