NFL
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Congressman Scalise Shocked To Find “Underground Railroad” Still Operating During Recent Trip To D.C.
Mandeville, Louisiana - Congressman Steve Scalise is recovering at home for the second time in three years after a traumatizing…
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Jacksonville Jaguars Decide To Forfeit Rest Of Season Rather Than Sign Colin Kaepernick
Jacksonville, FL - The Jacksonville Jaguars of the NFL have announced that after the injury suffered by Blake Bortles, the…
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HEARTWARMING: Drew Brees Brought A Super Bowl Ring To Atlanta So They Could See What One Looks Like
Atlanta, GA - How nice! Last week, the New Orleans Saints, the 2010 Super Bowl champions, brought their rings to…
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New NFL Rule: Any Player Caught Kneeling Will Be Traded To The Cleveland Browns
Hoping to end an ongoing debate in American football, the NFL’s team owners on Wednesday voted that players could not…
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The XFL: 10 Things That Make It WAY More American Than The NFL Can Ever Dream To Be
Great news, everyone! WWE owner Vince McMahon has decided to capitalize on the lower ratings in the NFL and reanimate…
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Cleveland Browns Already Eliminated From 2020 XFL Playoffs
Cleveland, Ohio - After the announcement of the XFL being born again, Cleveland Browns management have planned to move the…
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Atlanta To Replace Confederate Monuments With 2016 Falcons Super Bowl Memorials
Atlanta, Georgia - Eager to solidify the city’s reputation as a progressive hub in the Deep South, Atlanta officials have…
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SAD: Colin Kaepernick To Buy Carolina Panthers, Rename As “Black Panthers”
Charlotte, NC - Sad news, fellow patriots! Former NFL quarterback and full-time snowflake Colin Kaepernick has gone from disrespecting our…
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WOW: This Veteran WON’T Stand For The National Anthem!
It’s a sad day in America when players in our greatest sport refuse to stand for the national anthem. These…
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Donald Trump Honors Fallen Special Forces Soldiers With Special Olympics Medals
Bedminster Golf Course, New Jersey - Donald Trump was finally informed of the deaths of four Army special forces operatives…
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