News
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As Israel And Iran Trade Missile Fire, Mike Pence Masturbates Furiously To The Book Of Revelations
Washington, DC - While Iran and Israel traded missile fire across the border with Syria, Mike Pence quietly locked himself…
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Comical Catholic Clergyman Pranks Parishioners on Ash Wednesday
A small town church’s congregation is outraged over the pranks pulled by their clergy. The priest is claiming that it…
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Half-Awake Eric Trump Wanting To Know If His Monthly ‘SniffBox’ Cocaine Sampler Has Arrived Yet
NEW YORK, NY - A groggy Eric Trump stumbled into a Secret Service investigation this morning after his sister-in-law, Vanessa…
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Atlanta To Replace Confederate Monuments With 2016 Falcons Super Bowl Memorials
Atlanta, Georgia - Eager to solidify the city’s reputation as a progressive hub in the Deep South, Atlanta officials have…
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WHEELS UP: Barack Obama Headed For His First Family Christmas In Kenya
Nairobi, Kenya - Former U.S. president Obama landed at Jomo Kenyatta Airport Friday for his first Christmas in his native…
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Donald Trump Honors Fallen Special Forces Soldiers With Special Olympics Medals
Bedminster Golf Course, New Jersey - Donald Trump was finally informed of the deaths of four Army special forces operatives…
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