MAR-A-LAGO, FL – Claiming that he has no idea where he went wrong and that he could have sworn that all of his investments were bound to make him a trillionaire, President Trump has declared bankruptcy just seven minutes into a family game of Monopoly.
Trump, armed with a copy of his bestseller ‘Art of the Deal’ by his side, planned to spend the better part of the evening playing Monopoly with wife Melania, daughter Ivanka, and youngest son Barton. Brannen. Whatever-his-name-is. However the game itself didn’t quite last that long as he made the declaration in what is believed to be a record time.
“Well folks, I hate to do this but it looks like I’m declaring bankruptcy and starting over.” he said with no emotion, “It is what it is. Can somebody get Rudy on the phone and we can get things underway?
Oh and we’ll also need to send redundancy notices to the staff. Just make sure they get back to South America safely and we’ll bring them back over for work when the hotel business picks up. It’s sad, but that’s business.”
It’s believed that neither Melania or Ivanka were able to help him understand that it was just a game, and no legal undertakings were needed.
Initial reports indicate utter shock from the public, with nobody believing that this could happen to such an astute businessman with an impeccable track record of keeping a multitude of businesses and properties flourishing financially.