GOD: Oops, I Smited The Wrong Trump, My Bad

Heaven - God has egg on his face after a mix-up this weekend, after taking the wrong member of the Trump family. Robert Trump was taken from this mortal coil at the age of 71, much to the dismay of millions of Americans who had pleaded with god to take the president.

God was kinda of embarrassed about the snafu, admitting he’d been a bit hung over, and hit the wrong life termination button.

“My bad, I totally fucked that one up. It was a crazy weekend with a party down at St. Michael’s crib. Satan showed up with some premium Colombian blow, shit got crazy, and I smashed the wrong smite button after a total of one billion prayers came up to take Trump off the planet. Y’all should have been more specific to be honest. Robert Trump seems to be an OK guy, even though that’s a very low bar in his family, so I kinda feel bad about it. It is what it is though.”

Keep praying, or you could also do something more effective, and vote in November. I’m out, y’all. Got a kid on Facebook who needs just 5,908 more likes so I can cure his cancer.”

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Alexander Jones

Investigative reporter battling Obama's Deep State, uncovering globalist conspiracies. No relation to InfoWars' Alex Jones, who is really a disinformation agent for the New World Order. Buy MY supplements and prepper supplies!

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