A nervous Barron was spotted pacing in the Rose Garden, considering ways to get out of the event, once school is back in session.
Barron told us he wasn’t looking forward to going back to school, even though it meant getting out of the house and being around normal people.
“Hopefully he forgets about me as usual, so I don’t have to take him with me. Maybe he’ll go golfing, or I can tell him that Antifa will be there handing out books or something. Worst case scenario, maybe I’ll call out sick with Coronavirus that day. I’ll just get his doctor to write me a fake note, just like he did for dad’s physicals.
Let’s face it, it would be really embarrassing having Dad explain exactly what it is he actually does. I’d rather just lie and say my father is dead. Or maybe say he is a garbage collector, or someone else who contributes to society in a meaningful way. Ashley’s mom is an ICU nurse taking care of Coronavirus patients, and Kayleigh’s mom is a scientist, so I’m sure that would just devolve into an utter shitshow if he showed up.”