Washington, DC – Senate Republicans announced they had drawn up an indictment against former president Barack Obama, and were ready to turn it over to Attorney General William Barr as soon as next week. The alleged crimes include wearing a tan suit, expanding healthcare coverage to low-income Americans, and the high crime of presidenting while black.
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell announced the indictment of Obama shortly after eulogizing the late Congressman John Lewis.
“We want to make sure that we send a strong message that nobody else sullies the clear intention of the Founding Fathers who sent a clear message when naming the White House. We want future candidates to keep this in mind before running for president, especially if they’re a Democrat.”
Republicans and Fox News viewers have hoped for some sort of scandal they could bring down Obama with, and this announcement is expected to appease those who have wanted charges for years.
Senator Bill Cassidy of Louisiana clarified the statement by explaining further:
“Now, this isn’t really racial, and certainly nothing to do with the upcoming election. We could accept a black Vice President, so long as he knows his place and is a Republican. Senator Tim Scott of South Carolina would be a good candidate for this, as we allowed him to run for Senate, after having his spine removed, of course.”
The indictment against Obama seeks to nullify his presidency, and allow Trump to replace Obama’s Supreme Court nominees with Fox News panelists.
We’ll keep you updated as this story unfolds.