CDC Scientists Plan To Replace Peer-Reviewed Coronavirus Studies With Minions Memes

Atlanta, GA - The CDC has announced that it will no longer attempt to educate the American public with scientific studies on COVID-19. Citing the failure of educational efforts, including partnering with Facebook, CDC spokesperson Mai Corona stated they will now disseminate all future communications in the form of Minions memes.

“We’ve tried giving the public information to keep them safe and lessen the spread of Coronavirus. Instead, they just go for goofy, poorly-spelled memes or links from Infowars that try to refute science. Have you seen the stupid shit people pass on as factual? Sometimes I don’t even know why we bother trying any longer. Perhaps I’ll just go play Candy Crush until this whole thing is over, or humanity is wiped out. Right now, I don’t care either way.”

A preview of the memes the CDC plans to introduce reveal most will include nostalgia and/or Minions, primarily targeted at the Baby Boomer demographic, as well as people who list their education as being from “The School of Hard Knocks.”

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Alexander Jones

Investigative reporter battling Obama's Deep State, uncovering globalist conspiracies. No relation to InfoWars' Alex Jones, who is really a disinformation agent for the New World Order. Buy MY supplements and prepper supplies!

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