Washington, DC - Washington Redskins will no longer be the name of the football franchise, as announced Monday. The team name had been a long topic of heated debate, and the name change was pushed for by sponsors.
“We wanted to choose a new name that would properly reflect the modern era, and represent our fan base. Therefore, we are changing our name from the Washington Redskins to the Washington Crackers. This will fit perfectly with the majority of our fan base which is overwhelming white, fragile, and salty. We understand some may be offended, but we’re pretty sure the majority of them can’t read.” said team spokesperson Whitey Mayo.
The new name will go into effect whenever football season starts again. Which will be, judging on America’s refusal to wear face masks to reduce the spread of Coronavirus, never.