Washington, DC – As protests raged outside the White House, one onlooker found himself with a cop’s knee in his neck, despite simply observing the chaotic scene.
Richard Holder of Annapolis, Maryland said that he was just there to take photos for his local newspaper, and wasn’t engaging in any unlawful acts. Nevertheless, it didn’t stop one cop from singling Richard out, and putting him to the ground with a knee pinning him down.
American Buffoon reporter Burt Roscoe was lucky enough to get a statement, after seeking permission from the cop.
“I was really upset at first, but then a guy with a MAGA hat sitting in his truck making a video assured us all that this cop is just one bad apple. It is almost impossible to breathe right now, and I’ll likely be dead soon. I’m just happy to know I can spend my final minutes on this mortal coil knowing that the other officers looking on are the good guys, but this cop doesn’t represent the entirety of law enforcement in America. Back the Blue, everyone!”
In lieu of flowers, the family is expected to ask people to purchase Blue Lives Matter wristbands and bumper decals at their local flea market or via a random promoted Facebook ad.