Coronavirus Declared “Longest-Lasting Chinese Product” At Walmart

Walmart testers have declared the Coronavirus to be the longest-lasting product imported from China. Corporate researchers were puzzled by the longevity of the virus, which has outlasted items like Barbie Zebco rods, or goldfish from the pets department.

“We honestly thought it would have been broken and discarded by now. The fact that the Coronavirus continues to last as long as it has is a real surprise to us. Usually when you pick up something from China at one of our stores, it breaks down within a couple weeks. That’s not a defect to us, it’s a feature” stated Walmart spokesperson Karen Longfield.

The Coronavirus is expected to hit clearance shelves by mid-June, and make a return just in time for holiday shopping.

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Alexander Jones

Investigative reporter battling Obama's Deep State, uncovering globalist conspiracies. No relation to InfoWars' Alex Jones, who is really a disinformation agent for the New World Order. Buy MY supplements and prepper supplies!

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