Washington, DC – Stating that he had been “treated very unfairly” by Democrats, Trump will delay printing of all stimulus checks. The holdup will resume until Nancy Pelosi promises him he can run for president a third time in 2024. The decision came after he demanded the Treasury Department print his signature on all physical checks that will be mailed out.
In a phone call to Sean Hannity, Trump stated that being impeached by Congress automatically allowed him a third term. Hannity agreed, and suggested that since Trump was doing such a great job, there was no reason not to make Trump president for life.
The physical checks are expected to be mailed out sometime after the repeal of the 22nd Amendment. This will be followed by the installation of the Trump family as America’s new monarchy.
We will keep you up to date with all of the fictional events as they unfold, or become reality.