POLL: 94% Of Americans Prefer Sweet Meteor Of Death In 2020

Houston, TX - According to a recent Gallup poll, when given the choice between leading presidential candidates and a giant meteor that would wipe out life on Earth, 94% of Americans chose the Sweet Meteor of Death 2020.

The poll sampled 1,000 people across the United States, and here is what they had to say:

“It was supposed to be a good run for humanity. I thought the internet would bring us together, but it has driven us even further apart” stated sociologist John Nguyen.

In the tech world, the preference for Sweet Meteor of Death 2020 was even higher, at nearly 100%. Bernie Sanders polled a close second, with Donald Trump polling right behind a shit sandwich.

“Ugggghhh, wherever I go on Facebook, it’s nothing but annoying Minions memes and clickbait. This is not what I thought social media would be. I just wanted to creepily rate the attractiveness of undergrads” said Bay Area resident Mark Schmuckerberg.

The giant rock, which is somewhere currently lurking behind Uranus, was not available for comment.

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Alexander Jones

Investigative reporter battling Obama's Deep State, uncovering globalist conspiracies. No relation to InfoWars' Alex Jones, who is really a disinformation agent for the New World Order. Buy MY supplements and prepper supplies!

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