God Confirms Tornadoes Are His Punishment On The Bible Belt For Incest, Not Gay Marriage

Heaven, Milky Way - After smiting a planet 100 light years away, God has turned his eye back to Earth. Signals from the Bible Belt, a region of the United States that claims to be his biggest fans, are really pissing him off.

“When those idiots who mangled my 15, now 10 commandments, went on about how a man shouldn’t lay with another man as he did with a woman, I really should have just sent another flood to finish this failed experiment off. I guess those cousin-touching idiots in Oklahoma and the rest of the Bible Belt didn’t get the message with all of the meteorological blowjobs I’ve sent their way.”

Sources in Heaven claim that Jesus has postponed his return yet again, and is currently steering the Sweet Meteor of Death towards an impact zone somewhere in the Bible Belt.

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2 thoughts on “God Confirms Tornadoes Are His Punishment On The Bible Belt For Incest, Not Gay Marriage”

  1. are you sure it was God who created them in the first place. there are actual treaties among the power nations that say no experimentation of weather modification should be done. china and russia seemed to have weather modification capabilities. or is it china only ? then there are the two witnesses who are given power over the plagues of the earth, i think maybe tornadoes are considered a plague. of course they would have to get permission from God as they are standing in front of his throne.

  2. Hurricans are the result of global warming and this world is going to roll up like a scroll. Some people will be raptured out and face God for judgement and those who do not have the Lord Jesus Christ for their defense lawyer will be cast out into darkness and into a black hole and they will be knashing their teeth.

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