WINONA, MS - In a twist that would have M. Night Shyamalan wet in the pants, Winona, MS resident and Trump fan Dave Edwards is the proud owner of a joint Facebook profile, despite hours earlier ranting to strangers online about how “I love having my freedom!!!”.
Edwards, who has been in the online bond for over a year now, agreed to enter the mutual Facebook profile agreement with his wife. He was however reported to be internally screaming at the idea due to the fact that it would hinder his chances to perv on photos of the local cheerleading team of his Podunk town’s high school.
“There aint nowhere in the world that has given man freedom like the good ol’ US of A!!!”, he commented on a local news outlet from the ‘PaulaNDave Edwards’ account, “If you want to be grabbed by the balls and told what to do then go to Iran!!!!!”
He was then spotted passing the laptop over to his wife so she could check on photos of their 27 grandchildren.
It is yet to be seen if Dave is aware of the irony, however early reports suggest that it is not the case, nor ever will be.
