Washington, D.C. - Putting the Keystone Pipeline on hold, Donald Trump is considering a Trans-Atlantic pipeline to import hooker urine directly from Moscow.
A bill sponsored by Louisiana congressman Clay Higgins would call for a multi-billion dollar pipeline to run from Russia, directly to Trump’s property in Florida.
Our reporter was able to catch Clay Higgins during a visit to his local beauty store, where he was busy buying eyeliner before his next campaign trip to a gun range, complete with a sock stuffed in his hipster cop pants.
Higgins, who is used to watching other people lay pipe for him, claims that oilfield workers from Louisiana will be able to easily traverse the Atlantic Ocean, with the help of the Cajun Navy.
“Louisiana’s oil and gas industry has been suffering for years. There is no better way to put the people of my district back to work than a pipeline importing the best hooker urine from Russia.”
The proposal is expected to be hidden in the next budget bill, and signed by Trump on the 18th green of one of his golf courses.