New Orleans, LA – Determined to turn a new corner, but still remain culturally relevant, the Roseanne TV show will continue without their former star. The series reboot sought to portray white, working class voters who supported Trump, and sadly got exactly what they wanted.
ABC wants to turn the corner away from Roseanne’s insanely racial and insane comments. At the same time, they wish to continue deal with the issues that the original show addressed long before your Uncle Bob started passing off everything from Infowars on his Facebook account as legitimate and making lewd comments on your attractive local female meteorologist’s social media page.
Thanks to John Goodman‘s familiarity with the City of New Orleans and appreciation of the city’s progressive culture versus the rest of the backwardness of the state of Louisiana, ABC will soon be announcing that the show will continue with local music legend Big Freedia replacing Roseanne for future episodes.
The reboot of the reboot will feature a white, working-class family struggling with the bills, along with Dan’s secret love of black, gay men like Big Freedia. This will certainly resound with many Trump supporters who have struggled for decades by disguising their lust with constantly dropping the N-word in hopes of throwing their families off their clandestine visits to gay sites online.
The series will resume with a crumbling New Orleans Confederate statue falling on Roseanne during a Trump rally. After the statue is replaced with a monument to Big Freedia, she and Dan fall in love, creating a gender-queer, mixed-race family which is sure to blow up the ratings.
Roseanne has already taken to Twitter, declaring this a “liberal-SJW-cucking” of America, funded by George Soros. Local resident David Duke was unavailable for comment, rumors are he was deceased from a botched plastic surgery procedure, or accidentally set on fire during a cross-lighting gone terribly right.