On the heels of comments about Africa and other countries being “shitholes”, Donald Trump is also wondering why the federal government is supporting states like Louisiana or Mississippi.
Louisiana was also recently named as the worst state in the country to live in, prompting Trump to reconsider the future of the state as a member of the USA.
“Louisiana doesn’t even use proper American words like covfefe or yuuugge properly. Have you heard them try to talk? I’ve heard better American spoken by Haitian refugees who have washed up on my golf course in Florida,” stated Trump before consuming his 3rd Big Mac of the morning.
“What are boudin or cracklins? I’ve looked these Louisiana foods up on my phone and they look like turds. The golf courses look like one of mine, after being hit by a hurricane, and that’s on a good day. Sad!”
Local congressman Clay Higgins agreed with Trump, and is preparing to sell off his collection of cowboy hats so that he can afford to relocate his double-wide trailer from Port Barre, back to his previous residence in Texas.
Trump is expected to explore a number of options, including selling Louisiana back to France, or just letting climate change and obesity take their inevitable courses.
“We could send even more federal welfare to Louisiana, but what’s the point? That state is only a few electoral votes, nothing Vlad can’t make up for in 2020. It’s just easier and cheaper, to rig the election, and let Louisiana go. Besides, other than Stormy Daniels, what else has Louisiana done for me, ever?”