Nairobi, Kenya - Former U.S. president Obama landed at Jomo Kenyatta Airport Friday for his first Christmas in his native land. He was greeted at the gate by many members of his family who were excited to greet the first American from Kenya to win a race besides the Boston Marathon.
One of his relatives, Adamu Obama, was at the airport for the arrival and explained what they had lined up for the holiday season.
“Itâ€™s a great moment for our tribe with our long-lost son returning from America”. he said, “He is bringing some delicacies from the country he ruled for eight years: a bag of Hawaiian rolls, a sweet potato casserole and some home made Oreo pie.”
“Michelle is really excited about this trip from what we heard. She said something about a holiday called Festivus, and she canâ€™t wait to beat everyone at a game that we like to call ‘Feats of Strengthâ€™, however I believe that you like to call it ‘arm wrestlingâ€™.”
“Weâ€™re also very excited to try real authentic marijuana. Barack has assured us that his daughter Sasha has enough to “pass around” and we are very much looking forward to getting “toke up”, is the phrase that I believed he used. He said that the evening would be very lit. Very lit indeed.”
He also explained how exciting it was to finally have Barack back in the country.
“It has been too long since he was here. His birth certificate hangs proudly on our wall. Weâ€™re not sure why he requested that we keep it locked away in the attic for the past eight years, but it once again takes pride of place right next to his Fine Arts Degree from Kenyatta University.”
There was one blot on the landscape to the Obamaâ€™s arrival, however as cousin Ojwang was urged to calm down after shoutingÂ “Yo, where them white women at?” on numerous occasions at the airport.