Radio Host Accuses Government of Conspiracy After Discovering Local Store Has No Foil In Stock

A radio broadcaster is promoting his campaign to uncover a government conspiracy aimed at preventing him and his followers from obtaining aluminum foil.

Libertarian radio host Walt N. Johnson claims to have uncovered the conspiracy after his local HEB informed him that they had no foil in stock.  Johnson claims that foil is a necessity in preventing government radio waves from brainwashing him and his followers. When asked by this reporter why he simply did not make a trip to another supermarket, Walt began shouting “BECAUSE THE LIBERAL MEDIA REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT 711 WAS AN INSIDE JOB!”.

The Walt N. Johnson show is broadcast from Houston, TX.  A strong libertarian following, JJohnson refers to his audience as the “Ten Percenters”  as their IQ is ten percent of the national average.  A typical episode is four hours of the host repeating the same year old alt-right propaganda and complaints about Barack Obama despite his term ending in January.  Other rants, usually delivered characters based on homophobic and racist stereotypes, are thinly veiled attacks on civil rights, feminism, the LGBT community, as well as complaints that a border wall would limit the number of mexican restaurants in the metropolitan area.  The host has also attempted to read excerpts from Atlas Shrugged, but this proved difficult to a man who reads at a 2nd grade level.  The show boasts that they are unafraid to say what everyone thinks but is too afraid to say, however, it has been long proven that the Walt N. Johnson audience are incapable of thinking for themselves.

Followers of the show are attempting to organize a rally to demand the return of aluminum foil to the store shelves, as long as they get permission from their mothers first.

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