Sometimes it’s the thought that counts, but even this seems a little too far, Mr. President.
With wildfires still ravaging through many parts of California, President Trump has once again stepped into superhero mode by standing at the edge of one of the fires and throwing paper towels into it in an effort to help.
Approximately 300 rolls of paper towels were launched from the top of a canyon into the raging inferno below, despite the pleas of firefighters who claimed Trump was only making things worse.
“Like, I have no fucking clue what this assclown is smoking, but throwing flammable material into a fire isn’t going to put it out. Even one of his pee parties would be more helpful right now.” stated weary firefighter John Adams.
Briefly speaking to the gathering press who were watching on with slightly confused expressions, Trump explained that he was happy to be in California helping out in any way he could.
“I’m delighted to be here folks”, he said, “Obviously this is a terrible situation, but hey, these flames don’t feel as hot as other fires I’ve felt so that’s something positive we can take from this.”
I saw how helpful those paper towels were back in Puerto Rico so I thought they might help here too. I have to admit though that the flames don’t seem to be dying down too much so I’m not sure what’s going on. I’ll keep trying though folks, I’ll be here for a while yet.
Maybe the president of Puerto Rico can help out. I heard they’re surrounded by water. Perhaps they can send us some of that to put these fires out in exchange for all of that foreign aid we’re sending them.”
Donald Trump is scheduled to travel to Southern California next to check on any delays their wildfires may have caused to his proposed border wall.