Incredible. Waitr have just upped their game in their latest app update, ensuring that you are no longer kept in the dark in regards to possible future heart surgeries.
The app update dropped this morning, and now brings up an extra dialogue box whenever you place any dessert items in your cart. Using a brand new set of algorithms and possibly a little hint of highly unethical pre-purchased details pertaining to your health insurance, you will now be given a highly-accurate cost of a heart bypass operation on your plan.
Many critics suggest that the improvement will hinder Waitr’s business by putting people off ordering dessert, however spokesperson Terry Dubose expects the opposite.
“We actually think that this will be a positive move for the business”, Dubose said. “It’s dessert, and this is America. You’re going to order it, that’s just a fact. But providing customers with a rough idea of how much their future heart bypass operation is going to cost them will give them a chance to begin saving up right now. Perhaps even looking to work that third, fourth, fifth job.”
“We think that people will be appreciative of knowing how much debt and possible bankruptcy their $4 slice of double chocolate fudge cake is going to put their children and grandchildren into. And when they’re lying there in post-surgery with wires and tubes hooked up to them, they’ll be thinking “wow, I truly appreciate the Waitr app for giving me a heads up on this very moment all those years ago””.
The app update is now live, so get to downloading it.
