News
-
BREAKING: Trump To Honor Victims Of Jacksonville Shooting With 21 Hole Salute Next Weekend
Washington, DC - Donald Trump, fresh off another weekend golf trip to one of his resorts, was forced to deal…
Read More » -
White House Sinkhole Rumored To Be Melania Trump’s Failed Attempt To Tunnel To Freedom
Washington, D.C. - A sinkhole opened up along the White House fence the other day, and Twitter has been abuzz…
Read More » -
As North Korea Talks Waver, Mike Pence Masturbates Furiously To The Book Of Revelation
Washington, DC - As the summit between the United States and North Korea appears to be in doubt, Vice President…
Read More » -
As Israel And Iran Trade Missile Fire, Mike Pence Masturbates Furiously To The Book Of Revelations
Washington, DC - While Iran and Israel traded missile fire across the border with Syria, Mike Pence quietly locked himself…
Read More » -
Comical Catholic Clergyman Pranks Parishioners on Ash Wednesday
A small town church’s congregation is outraged over the pranks pulled by their clergy. The priest is claiming that it…
Read More » -
Half-Awake Eric Trump Wanting To Know If His Monthly ‘SniffBox’ Cocaine Sampler Has Arrived Yet
NEW YORK, NY - A groggy Eric Trump stumbled into a Secret Service investigation this morning after his sister-in-law, Vanessa…
Read More » -
Atlanta To Replace Confederate Monuments With 2016 Falcons Super Bowl Memorials
Atlanta, Georgia - Eager to solidify the city’s reputation as a progressive hub in the Deep South, Atlanta officials have…
Read More » -
WHEELS UP: Barack Obama Headed For His First Family Christmas In Kenya
Nairobi, Kenya - Former U.S. president Obama landed at Jomo Kenyatta Airport Friday for his first Christmas in his native…
Read More » -
Donald Trump Honors Fallen Special Forces Soldiers With Special Olympics Medals
Bedminster Golf Course, New Jersey - Donald Trump was finally informed of the deaths of four Army special forces operatives…
Read More »