Washington, DC – The FBI is reportedly busy developing a new lie detector technology ahead of a series of anticipated testimony to Congress by Donald Trump. While details of the technology are still top-secret, we were able to glean some information from FBI insiders via carrier pigeons.
Sources say that current lie detectors are unable to handle “the sheer number of lies per minute” told by Trump, who is expected to undergo sworn testimony before Congress in the near future regarding Ukraine, his attempted extortion of their president, as well as whether he lied to Robert Mueller during the Russian investigation.
The specs for the lie detector are not expected to be released, so as to keep Trump from obtaining any secrets to beating it with Russian help. However, the FBI is taking suggestions for questions to be asked of Trump, feel free to add your own in the comments below.