Lexington, VA – In a Memorial Day ceremony at Virginia Military Institute, Donald Trump laid wreaths at the tombs of Robert E. Lee, his horse Traveler, Stonewall Jackson, Jeb Stuart, and other participants of the Confederate side of America’s Civil War.
“There were great people, on both sides. Some of those people still fight to this day for the cause of states’ rights, most of them voted for me. Tremendous folks, great patriots, that much I can tell you. Many were lost at the Bowling Green Massacre, but their sacrifice for our nation will never be forgotten on this Memorial Day.”
Other Confederate figures like Nathan Bedford Forrest were honored for their contributions to preserving American values in the aftermath of the war. David Duke was there on their behalf to receive the awards, once the sun set, so his face wouldn’t melt.
“All of these men were heroes, including John Wilkes Booth,” stated the former Grand Wizard of the KKK as the moon rose over 4 dozen white hoods. “Hail Trump, hail victory!”