Jacksonville, FL – The Jacksonville Jaguars of the NFL have announced that after the injury suffered by Blake Bortles, the team has decided to forfeit the rest of the season. Due to the lack of talent on the bench, or on the free agent roster, head coach Doug Marrone made the decision, rather than sign Colin Kaepernick to the roster.
According to Marrone, the Jaguars are facing the same lack of testicular fortitude many other teams in the league are, choosing to sign untested QBs instead of the experienced Colin Kaepernick.
“I mean, we had thought about signing him, but we were more concerned about the opinion of the rednecks out in Palatka who don’t come to our games anyhow. Have you seen the things they have posted on our Facebook page? So we decided to forfeit the rest of the season to avoid pissing them off. God forbid one of them come burn a cross in the stadium parking lot during an away weekend.
Besides, we’re the Jaguars. Nobody outside the Jacksonville area is going to notice our absence anyhow. “
The Jaguars are expected to spend their free time drawing up excuses for blowing the 2019-2020 season.