Cleveland, Ohio – After the announcement of the XFL being born again, Cleveland Browns management have planned to move the team to Vince McMahon’s league once it launches in 2020.
The Browns have struggled mightily since they came back in 1999, with only one playoff appearance in 2002, which they naturally lost.
Things were so bad that at the close of the 2017 season, Browns fans held a mock celebration of the team going 0-16.
Current high school and college athletes have started making other plans for their careers, in order to avoid being drafted by the hapless NFL team.
“It’s a crying shame, but what can we do?” stated future quarterback Timothy Tebawww, a junior at Acadiana High School in Lafayette, Louisiana who plans on attending at least one semester at LSU before being a first-round draft pick into the pit of misery, also known as FirstEnergy Stadium.
“I’ll probably ending up pushing carts at the New Iberia Wal-Mart, but I’ll have more pride in that than being in the Browns’ organization. At least my kids will be able to tell their class that Dad works at Wal-Mart instead of playing for the Browns.”
Star running back Laquan Johnson from Miami has also considered his future in football, and decided to forgo professional sports and concentrate on a more successful career in gender studies at Berkeley instead.
“I planned on being a star running back in the NFL, but once I found out I would be drafted by the Browns, making soy lattes at my local Starbucks would be a more fulfilling career than enduring that.”
Plans are already in place to move the Cleveland Browns to the local Pee-Wee League, where they hope to eek out at least one win in 2029.